Holy fick puss Flyig dog

DOUBLE ALE FORF AEWEOSME OH MY GOD  shit i had the capt lock on

So I went to see my friend of a friend DOMINATE THE CHICAGO COMEDY SCENE2 Tonight and gt a litle wasted. Drank some of my favorite 5/10 thumbs up Budweiser beeero tonight and then came home and had some Double down flying double dog double pale double alcohol doulble fuck me up SHIT."

i better reflect on this  oozyness tmorrw.  Awesome bber tough me and my wiife wer blaswted after about one sip of this 11.5% APB shit.

Its Friday, Beer Review

Another long god damn week is finally over.  Fucking shit I hate work sometimes.  I'm telling you nothing pleases me more than a nice cold beer (on sale even!) after a long week.  Except, ah nevermind... TMI

Tonight I am sampling a beer from the New Holland Brewery from... you guessed it, Holland Michigan!  Like a Dutchman could make a beer that doesn't suck.  Yeah, right!  Amstel sucks, Grolsch sucks, and Heineken makes me fart like a clydesdale!  Damn TMI again!  Not to ruin the flow I have going on here, but you have to watch this video...



So back to the topic at hand.  I am trying the New Holland Mad Hatter India Pale Ale.  Who knows why its called that, but there's a super creepy picture of a mad hatter on the label, and another label on the back that doesn't say why it is called Mad Hatter IPA. It does however say that its 5.25% ABV which is fairly average in terms of potency.



Glass is courtesy of you guessed it, Murphy's Pub in Champaign and the beer is your typical brownish reddish color and it is pretty clear beer.

It smells like hops and a faint amount of citrus or malt or some shit like that but to make a long snobby story short, it smells like pretty much any IPA I have had in the past.

The taste however, is smooth going down, not too carbonated, good amount of hops... its weird though its like it tastes great initially, then for just a split second it tastes foul or something, and then it leaves a nice IPA style aftertaste of hoppy goodness. 

I could really drink a lot of this shit if it was on sale all the time.  Definitely a quality brew.  I picked up a 6 pack for 8 bucks, and I think its a pretty good price point there.  I believe normally its like 11.49 for a 6 pack. 

So the final verdict is 8.5/10 thumbs up which means, if you see it, Try it!



Have any beer recommendations for this weekend?

DO WANT!

In case you don't know this by now (actually I'm not sure why more than one of you reading this would)  I kind of like certain electronic gadgets.  I usually don't get much into the latest phone tech however, as I usually buy a phone maybe once every 4 years which in phone years is like what, a century?

So I heard about this interesting new phone coming out, I think yesterday (which I did not know before starting to write this little blog).  The Sony Ericsson Xperia Play.  Its basically a blackberry/iphone for useful, productive stuff (like facebooking and fantasy football updates!) aaaaand it has a game pad that will allow you to also play Playstation games on it.  I think it might even be able to make a phone call!  NEAT-O!

Well here is an amusing commercial for it.  Kristen Schaal is pretty hilarious.  If you haven't seen her before on the Daily Show, she plays a Christian right winger and is really funny at it.  And a certain scene in this commercial had me rolling with laughter...

So without further ado, as Stacey King would say... "ROLL IT!"

AAAAAAH! DO WANT!  Brilliant Marketing!  Although just one problem.  The Xperia Play has been reported to only be available on Verizon.  Nooooo! Fuck that shit!  Not being allowed to have such an amazing device makes me want it more!  Well hopefully Sprint gets a Korean knockoff version eventually, like they always do with their shitty phones.

Have a happy Thursday!
Sincerely,
Your everlasting consumerist chum

3 Awesome things from the 90's

Part 1 in a million part series just because there is so much awesomeness to cover.  RAD!

Yes, The 90's were the best time in modern history, and before you old bastards say well no way, the 50's were the best!  Um, no.  The 50's were only "cool" if you are a bible thumping alcoholic smoker douche bag or chauvinistic prick-wad.  Certainly not "cool" if you were a minority, or a woman, or gay, or poor, or well, you get the point.

 Damn, in the 50's did people really wear suits everywhere?  I can't imagine what a pain in the ass that would be, and the poor women had to wear dresses and makeup while working in the kitchen... are you  kidding me?  Sometimes I don't even believe this shit ever happened because it seems so ridiculously impossible to find a woman working the kitchen like a pro these days.  Most women are working a full time job so they can help their hubby pay a mortgage on their overpriced and likely underwater McMansion. It also seems ridiculous that men would wear suits everywhere they went, even casually!  When was the last time you wore a suit to McDonalds?  Thats pretty much how I picture the 1950's were.



Oh shit, before I get too carried away about why the 1950's must have totally sucked, back to the three awesome things about the 90's!  Please note that these are not the absolute top three and they aren't in any particular order of awesomeness.

1)  Grunge Culture

Speaking of why the 50's attire sucked so hard reminded me of why the 90's were so awesome.  Not only did you have neon Umbros and Z. Cavaricci pants, but it was actually fashionable to let yourself go and wear flannel, your worst pair of jeans, not do your hair or shave.  I mean have we ever had another time in our history where you could wear what you went to sleep in after a long night of drinking Natty Light around a campfire, and be ok in school the next day?  

2)  Hammer Pants

Speaking of Z. Cavaricci pants... how in the heck could I forget the opposite of grunge, yet still comfortable as all hell?  Parachute pants!  So amazingly comfortable and fashionable as well!


  Lets just say they are a lot better than the "ex-girlfriend" jeans that losers wear today.  GROSS! 



3)  Music Videos

While I'm on the subject of music and fashion, lets hit one last awesome thing about the 90's.  MTV or alternatively known as "Music Television" to us geezers. It was an ancient cable channel that played MUSIC VIDEOS!  Now i'm sure some of you are asking what the fuck a music video is, so here is an example of one of the greatest music videos of all time.   What makes this video so great is that its from one of the worst movies of all time, while simultaneously being one of the greatest tupac (RIP) songs, and last but not least its totally off the wall and makes absolutely no sense.  Just like any good music video should!




Happy Hump day, stay RADICAL DUDES!

Bruce Pearl You Suck!

Ohhhh man, let me tell you how sad I was to hear the news that Tennessee Vol's Men's Basketball head coach Bruce Pearl (aka human waste pile) got the axe yesterday for fucking CHEATING and LYING (like, a million fucking times) to the NCAA. 


I'm sure he will be crying his big fat head on a big fat pillow stuffed with lots of money that he made scumming his way to the top.

Dear Bruce, I think I speak for everyone you have ever wronged when I say you are a miserable sack of shit, I hate you, you are lower than ambergris, and I hope to never see your ugly face on TV again.  If I see you in person, I will be sure to passive-aggressively run into you as I pass you by.  I sincerely hope your ex wife takes all your money and that you may never coach again!



I'm sure his ex-wife is pretty sad too, then again, maybe not as she is probably busy with her booming nail salon business, aptly named "Alimony's"

Why the hate for this guy?  Well, as a long time Illini fan, there is a reason.  You see Bruce used to be an assistant for Dr. Tom Davis at IOWA (Idiots Out Wandering Around) and wasn't happy with getting their asses kicked by the Illini so much, so assclown here used some out of context quotes from Deon Thomas (the #1 recruit in the country at the time) and made up a story and lied to the NCAA, yes it is a good story and might sound somewhat believable but....

The NCAA didn't find Illinois to be guilty, but since it "sounded good enough to be true" they slapped the Illini with a "lack of institutional control" penalty anyway (because they are assholes HQ'd in Indiana) which set the program back for at least a decade.  You can read the whole made up fiasco by Pearl here.

So to hear about this asshole adulterer getting shit-canned by a SEC school of all places (voted by coaches as "the most cheaty conference" which you can read about here)  for CHEATING then getting busted for LYING to the NCAA is absolutely hilarious and made my day.   Deadspin also has a great take on what a piece of human waste this guy is.

One last thing...

I REALLY don't want to see this asshole get hired on ESPN as a college hoops analyst with that other douchebag Digger Phelps.  Who, coincidentally made up a bunch of shit about Illinois offering LaPhonzo Ellis money too, that was never proven (and that Ellis admitted on a TV broadcast recently!).  Jay Bilas and Duke Vitale are already whining about what a raw deal Bruce Pearl got and what a standup guy he is.  Well, whats that saying, misery loves company?  Nah I think its


Yeah thats the ticket!

Shit I am Tired and I Need Motivation

Too much late night drinking (thanks a lot Illini) and early work today to be creative whatsoever, so here's something motivational and awesome.

(apologies for the annoying fucking commercial... not exactly my decision, stupid hulu!)



Happy Monday

Its Friday, Its March Madness

I don't feel like writing this whole weekend, I feel like watching some hoops and relaxing now that the damn weather is above the freezing point of water.

Go Illini!

Who's bright idea was this marketing campaign anyway?  "Ready for the dance"? They barely made the fucking tournament! 

Oh well, I'm still a fan and an alumnus.  May this not be the Seniors last game!

GO BULLS!





and Go Pacifico! (Review coming soon, lol)




Have a great weekend!

Thanks DICK Durbin - Master of Unintended Consequences

I received a letter in the mail today from Chase notifying me that my debit card rewards program (that I actually paid money for out of my own pocket) will no longer take place thanks to the "Durbin Amendment" in the "Dodd-Frank" financial reform bill.  In case you are wondering what that piece of shit Amendment "Senator Dick from Illinois" wrote into the "Dodd-Frank" bill, here lets take it straight from the horses(ass's) mouth.

"[WASHINGTON, D.C.] – Assistant Senate Majority Leader Dick Durbin (D-IL) issued the following statement after the Senate approved his amendment to help reduce the swipe fees that small businesses pay on every credit and debit card sale by a bipartisan vote of 64-33:

“Wall Street reform is really about two things:  holding the big banks accountable for how they operate and empowering consumers to make good financial choices. Passage of this amendment is a win for the public on both fronts.

Passage of this measure gives small businesses and their customers a real chance in the fight against the outrageously high “swipe fees” charged by Visa and MasterCard.  It will prevent the giant credit card companies from using anti-competitive practices, allow merchants to offer discounts to their customers and restore common sense and fairness to this broken system.
By requiring debit card fees to be reasonable, and by cleaning up Visa’s and MasterCard’s worst abuses, small businesses and their customers will be able to keep more of their own money. Making sure small businesses can grow and prosper is vital to putting our country back on solid economic footing.”

Swipe fees are supposedly charged by Visa and MasterCard in order to cover the cost of processing a credit or debit card transaction.   However, Visa and MasterCard continue to raise swipe fees even though processing costs have decreased.   High swipe fees are yet another way that banks and credit card companies hurt small businesses by charging fees that cut into already tight profit margins.

An estimated $48 billion in swipe fees were charged by credit and debit card networks in 2008 – this money came out of the bottom line of small businesses and merchants across America, and 80 percent of this money went to just ten large banks. "


What does all that pandering nonsense really mean to us the consumer?  Because, you know, he's totally against those ten big bad banks!  Although he certainly likes those big bad bank's money, raking in  650k in campaign contributions from the finance & Banking industry over just the last 5 years...

Dick's 5 favorite industries (no surprise really) from https://opensecrets.org/politicians/summary.php?cid=N00004981

Top 5 Industries, 2005-2010, Campaign Cmte

Industry	Total	Indivs	PACs
Lawyers/Law Firms	$2,136,456	$1,981,735	$154,721
Securities & Investment	$654,562	$561,062	$93,500
Real Estate	$432,146	$394,146	$38,000
Pro-Israel	$375,212	$329,962	$45,250
Lobbyists	$371,337	$349,430	$21,907

So yeah... basically it means Credit Card companies and Big banks are going to continue to figure ways around this law to remain profitable and continue to be "mean" to small businesses.  I mean seriously what is the big fucking deal, Visa and Mastercard are creating an enormous convenience for these small businesses,  (have you ever tried to do accounting for a mostly cash business?)  and the only thing this is going to do is encourage the use of credit cards even more, and encourage cash (or tax free) transactions from the general public.

What was so wrong with debit cards that these small businesses were going out of business?  If the fees were so severe to these small businesses, then they didn't have to use them, they could choose to do cash or only accept certain credit cards and let the free market work this out... but in the name of fairness and the fact that most government agencies have to take debit cards in addition to credit cards, in the name of fairness, this pointless and consumer killing legislation was born.

Thanks Dick, "Master of Unintended Consequences"!  Did you really think banks would play nice with our money?  I have a bridge for sale...

So the story ends with me expressing my juvenile frustration directly at the Dick.  I wrote this letter directly to him today.  (Yes this is a real letter I sent.)

Dear Assclown,

Your fucking stupid ass bill made it so I can't receive points from using my debit card anymore.  Now I have to prevent my inner American consumerist urges from spending money via our credit cards rather than having a simple life and paying for everything with cash.
 
This is because If I want points I have to use my credit card.  I had a nice system set up where I would actually BENEFIT from using my debit card and no thanks to your stupid ass societal engineering I'm basically incapable of screwing the banks out of a hundred or so bucks a year.

Thanks a lot "master of unintended consequences".

Please do us all a favor and stop all this useless legislation.  If the senate actually did NOTHING for 5 years I can't possibly imagine the economic progress we would make.

I'll be doing the world a favor and certainly NOT voting for you this next election.  Assclown!

You can also voice your displeasure directly with him by clicking here.


Have a nice St. Pattys day!

Beer Review

Ok so in the context of keeping it random.  Time to do a Beer Review.   Beeradvocate.com style.

Now before you laugh at my snobbyness I did not invent this system nor do I really care what some d-bag on the internet thinks is good beer.  I plan to do this as an ongoing series (since adult life sucks and beer makes it better) with a rating scale from 1-10 where 1 is undrinkable piss such as Bud Light & Clamato.  Do you have any idea what clamato is?  Trust me, if you don't already know, you really don't want to find out because it might cause you to hurl.



= 1



and a 9.5-10 would be along the likes of say....  An Aventinus Dopplebock, which along with Bell's Third Coast Old Ale are two of my favorite beers of all time.



So, now that you have my numerical system in place lets start the review.  Beer Advocate style...

Anheiser-Busch, Budweiser

Brewed by Anheiser-Busch (Inbev)
St. Louis, MO (I think)


Appearance: a light piss color with a relatively good head on top after a pour, lots of bubbles, kind of like cheap champagne.  Poured into a skinny glass to appear larger than the actual serving size of 12oz.

Smell: definitely get the aroma of both union labor tears and immigrant labor sweat, and of course a sweet reminder of what Wrigley Field smells like in the middle of summer time.

Taste: At first it doesn't seem like the typical bargain beer that I was expecting, but after a couple more sips, I definentally think this case I bought was on sale because its old and skunky.  A few seconds after I shotgun one of these bad boys, that rush of years being stripped off your liver comes. You get progression from light, and subtly sweet to a smash of bitter aftertaste that reminds me of Rosie O'Donnel's frowny face.

Drink-ability: With an 5% ABV it doesn't pack a huge alcohol punch but you get a lot for your money, and is relatively drinkable.  If by drinkable you mean, something that you can barely swallow enough of to get thoroughly buzzed.

Overall:  For a beer that is one of the most popular beers in the USA this "American Lager" is an embarrasment. Americans really have the worst taste in food and drink.  I mean seriously, it is sort of drinkable, and at $13 for a 24 pack I'm not complaining too much.  I'm not one who really prefers an extremely crappy beer, but it does make watching my pathetic college team or pro sports team much more interesting.  So it has that going for it.  And for this particular swill, I would recommend that you keep it in the can, as it makes the beer much more difficult to taste! (good thing)

Serving type: Can.  I should have paid the extra buck for bottles!

Score: 5/10 thumbs up -  It gets an extra point for being so cheap, and the fact that It is drinkable enough to get buzzed is another +1.

You know what? Fuck Writing Today

People are pissing me off today, so to cheer me up here's my top 5 favorite (In no particular order) rockin' Foo Fighters songs.

Generator







No Way Back







Monkey Wrench

Times Like These

All My Life




No fucking weak ass Justin Beiber shit on this blog!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Ah fuck it, lets make it 5 songs plus an Encore

I'll Stick Around




My Poor Brain

New Way Home (The SHIT)

I Don't Really Give a Shit About What Charlie Sheen Has to Say

Honestly.  He isn't saying anything new, and he really just sounds like some teenage kid with a World of Warcraft account.  Melt your face?  Tools and trolls?  You're "winning"?  Yeah whatever dude, the year 2005 called and they want their e-lingo back.

If I want to witness wit, creativity and humor, I'll watch this guy every weekday night.

All this attention whoring dipshit (Sheen) is doing is saying the most off the wall, sarcastic crap wherever he goes.  Wooooow amazing!  I don't think he's taking these "interviews" seriously,  which I would be doing too and just making up random funny stuff.  I mean what is he doing on 20/20 anyway?  Have they completely lost their way?  I think Sheen is just doing this off the wall stuff to try to get people interested in the stupid shit he has to say so that these ignorant sheep will buy tickets to his "Violent Torpedo of Truth" show, coming to Chicago and Detroit April 2nd-3rd, the price to see Charlie Sheen say dumb crap in person?  Tickets start at $70 a piece. 

I'm not interested in celebrity gossip crap anyway, but when everyone starts talking about it when we have far more important issues such as the unrest in the middle east, our pathetic budget cuts (which coincidentally we started hearing about Charlie Sheen while this was just beginning), the disaster in Japan, Union busting in Wisconsin, "Mayor" Emanuel, and well the list is practically endless of more important shit than what some coked out man whore has to say.  Then again, the news just can't help turn themselves away from a train wreck, no mater how egregiously self propagating it may be.

The TSA is Making Propaganda Films Now?

What's up with all these train disaster movies lately?  Most recently a new movie called "Source Code" really caught my attention, it looks like its a total piece of crap about some sort of time travelling mystery bullshit, that needs to be solved before a train crashes into downtown Chicago.  Yay for Hollywood originality!  Then of course there's the especially terrible movie "Unstoppable" which the only reason people went to go see it is because Denzel Washington was in it.  Honorable quips also to "The Taking of Pehlam 123 (remake)", "Knowing", and "Final Destination 3".

The only explanation in my conspiratorial insane mind is that the TSA is providing funding for these films as a way to terrorize citizens into thinking train travel is unsafe.  You know how the government loves to scare people into thinking we need more useless government jobs and regulations that they don't seem to have the balls to ever get rid of them.  So yeah, these movies are basically a power grab to make train travel seem far more dangerous than it is and to scare the general public into believing that rail travel is unsafe somehow and it needs to be regulated in the name of "freedom".

The TSA currently doesn't do security searches for boarding trains, my guess is that they want to expand their influence (and budgetary requirements) via expansion into the passenger train sector.  So I really wouldn't be surprised if in a few years we have dogs sniffing my balls for bombs every time I get on a train, or some overpaid union idiot laughing while he takes a picture of my scanned body like this poor soul.  Not really sure what these scanners do anyway that the normal ass metal detector machines can't find.  I mean are people bringing guns and knives on planes?  You'd think a metal detector would catch that one...
 

And honestly, who thought this was a good idea anyway?  I mean do these clowns really want to make traveling by plane as uncomfortable as possible?  Its bad enough you have to take off your belt, your shoes, have them search through your entire cache of carry on luggage, take apart any electronics, then herd you like cattle to sit on a damn plane where you have to be the size of a malnourished Asian child labor camp survivor to be comfortable in the seat.  You can't do shit unless you are at cruising altitude, you can't smoke, you can't bring your own booze, you have to buy their shitty overpriced crap and to top it all off, your ears are popping every 30 seconds and babies are screaming while you are smashed between two fat fucks that wouldn't fit in a new F-250 pickup truck.

So, back to the important conspiracy theories!  I think these movies are just propaganda brought to you by your big ol' government that wants nothing more than to add a few more jobs where it can't fire anyone.  I mean seriously people, go to the airport sometime and count the fucking idiots with TSA uniforms on standing around doing nothing.  I would bet the actual people working is no more than one in eight.

That really has to be the only logical explanation as to why Denzel Washington would voluntarily do "Unstoppable" and Jake Jillenhall would do "Source Code" although I guess getting paid millions of dollars doesn't hurt, either.  Kind of like TSA employees (well, those in charge at least)!

I Love a Good Chicken Wing

Man there is nothing better than some hot wings and beer, and this recipe is the TOPS, thought it would be good for such a cold and crappy day out.  Even white people can make this fried chicken recipe taste good! (I'm proof!)

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Restaurant-Style-Buffalo-Chicken-Wings/Detail.aspx

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 10 chicken wings
• oil for deep frying
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1/4 cup hot sauce
• 1 dash ground black pepper
• 1 dash garlic powder

Directions

1. In a small bowl mix together the flour, paprika, cayenne pepper and salt. Place chicken wings in a large nonporous glass dish or bowl and sprinkle flour mixture over them until they are evenly coated. Cover dish or bowl and refrigerate for 60 to 90 minutes.
2. Heat oil in a deep fryer to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). The oil should be just enough to cover wings entirely, an inch or so deep. Combine the butter, hot sauce, pepper and garlic powder in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir together and heat until butter is melted and mixture is well blended. Remove from heat and reserve for serving.
3. Fry coated wings in hot oil for 10 minutes, or until parts of wings begin to turn brown. Remove from heat, place wings in serving bowl, add hot sauce mixture and stir together. Serve.

A few modifications I make to this recipe.

1) Chop up boneless breasts into wing sized pieces as bones are just a waste of flavor space! 

2) In addition to the existing wing sauce recipe I add a 1/4 a cup of brown sugar, and about a tablespoon (total) worth of paprika, chili powder and cayenne pepper for extra spice, and a few spashes of jalapeno tabasco.

3) I usually double the recipe as a half a lb. of wings just doesn't do it for me AND my wife

YUM!  I'm gettin hungry just thinkin about it.

Dumbass of the Day - Atlanta Fed President Dennis Lockhart

from CNN Money


Appearing at the National Association of Business Economics in Arlington, Va., Lockhart said that while he doesn't think additional purchases are currently warranted, more stimulus could be needed if oil prices continue to climb.

"If [the rising price of oil] plays through to the broad economy in a way that portends a recession, I would take a position we would respond with more accommodation," Lockhart said at the conference.

Though he doesn't think current oil prices around $106 a barrel are a problem, he said the evidence is clear that oil spikes can bring about a recession.

"I think at the $120 range ... it's a manageable level," he said. "Around $150 it becomes a much more serious concern."
So basically, the Quantitative Easing Mr. Lockhart is promoting has done nothing but encourage speculation by banks in commodity futures by giving them free money to buy said futures, therefore driving up prices for the entire economy.  So Mr. Lockhart's brilliant solution is to continue doing more of this 'easing' to lower prices?  Um, whats that definition of insanity again?  What planet is this fucking idiot on?  Planet upside-down land?  Someone needs to send this clown back to Econ 101 or even fucking Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supply_and_demand
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Money_supply


The dog and pony show going on at the Fed right now is screwing everyone that doesn't have a massive cache of stocks, gold, non-perishable food or oil.  Bullshit!

And before Ben Bernake steps in and says, there is no inflation... well no shit sherlock, there's no inflation when you don't include food and energy in your calculations... people need to eat and have electricity and drive their cars dipshit!

Here's a real chart of the current inflation going on right now.  (which includes everything and computers don't bullshit with political posturing) 
http://bpp.mit.edu/daily-price-indexes/

Bulls Sweep the Miami Heat!

Bulls sweep the Heat today in the season series.  The 3 queens are now something like 3-19 against teams with winning records.  Lets hear it for the paper pre-season champs!

Also a hilarious twit after the game from ESPN's Brian Windhorst
"Spoelstra [Heat Coach] said some Heat players are crying in the locker room at the moment."

So to sum up the Bulls accomplishments so far this season, the Bulls have got two coaches fired, and made the Miami Heat cry!


Fucking fabulous!

Good News, Republicans Totally Want to Cut Spending, I swear!

So the big news story today is that the Republicans want to cut a whopping 61 billion from this year's budget, while the Democrats want to cut just 6.5 billion from the budget.

Now, I really try hard to try and figure out what the bunch of idiots in DC are attempting to accomplish and really try hard to make some sense as to what each party is attempting to do and see through the bullshit.

But this has to be one of the single worst "hey look how hard a stance I'm taking!" I have ever seen.


To put it in a much easier to see perspective I made a cool graph using Excel.  Numbers are in Billions (of USD, obviously)

So what exactly am I trying to say with this silly chart?  Oh nothing, but the fact that these losers in DC can't seem to get a clue that's all.

The Green represents what the government takes in, and spends while the red represents what the government has to borrow to spend. Now before you say what the fuck, we are spending almost twice as much as we are taking in!  Yes we are.  Lets take a look at what all those zero's are getting us.





So well you take a look at that and break the numbers down you have about

954  Billion for Defense spending (doesn't even include R&D spending, but includes foreign aid)
878 Billion for Health (Medicare, Medicaid, etc.)
801 Billion for Pensions (includes social security)
496 Billion for Welfare (food stamps, unemployment, housing, etc.)
687 billion for the rest, which would include, federal jails, transportation, fbi, atf, education, epa, water, and lots of other crap

To give you an idea of how fucked we are with this deficit spending, the cost of 10 years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan (taken from http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL33110.pdf ) was "only" 1.3 trillion

from that site:
If the FY2011 war request is approved, total war-related funding would reach almost $1.3 trillion,
including $802 billion for Iraq, $455 billion for Afghanistan, $29 billion for enhanced security, and $6
billion that cannot be allocated.

Good to know that we just happened to lose 6 billion dollars in there for no apparent reason, not like we could have used that for something useful like high speed rail right?

These wars need to stop.  Period.  The entitlements must be reformed.  There is no way that we can sustain this out of control borrowing for much longer.  In fact, someone even made a nice chart for me.



Something must be done NOW, because we are so fucked it isn't even funny.  Good to see that the government will be out of money a good 5 years before I plan to retire... maybe I'll be able to have enough money by then to move to another country that isn't ran by fucking idiots who only care about their own pocketbooks and power than the good of the people.  Fat chance, right?

Some possible band-aid solutions

1) Ending overseas wars and foreign aid. - Spend that money here at home, instead of pissing it away overseas.  The amount of money we spend on this crap that we don't even need is absolutely insane.  Especially since most of these countries don't even want our help in the first place.  Remember during Clinton's presidency, we had one of the longest peace times in our history, and look at how successful we were in managing our budget and look at how successfully the monetary growth was?  Employment was high, taxes were relatively lower, economic growth was rampant.  It was great!  The old fashioned way of "warring and borrowing our way to economic recovery " is no longer going to work, especially with the way the world economic markets work now and the fact that we don't manufacture as much stuff here in the US as we did during a total war.

2) Real reform of the health care system.  - I don't have an answer to this but all I know is that Socialized medicine sucks, and so does our currently confusing system.  Something in between (besides insurance companies, and massive government intrusion) might be a good solution.

3) End the marijuana wars, legalize pot - This could be a cash crop for the US, and a great source of agriculture and industrial growth.  As you may or may not know, hemp can be used for more than just recreational purposes, and if you could tax the "freedom" its a win win situation is it not?   Especially if it will reduce the nearly $15 billion dollars that we spend on the "war on drugs", its about as winnable as a "war on terror".

4) Privatize Some aspects of Social Security - Allow younger people to allocate a smaller percentage of their income to social security (with less benefit) over time and allow people incentive to, save money on their own, while reducing the future liability time bomb down the road.


5) Fix the foodstamps ridiculousness - There is no reason we should have such an abundant  foodstamps program in this country where 33% of adults are obese.  I do not have a problem giving assistance to the less fortunate but there is a problem when over 1 in 8 American adults and 1 in 4 kids is on foodstamps and 50% of those on foodstamps being obese!  The fact that this program encourages government dependence and drives up the cost of food for everyone (including those that now need to get on food stamps because they can't afford food!) and promotes self destructive irresponsible behavior for the benefit of corporations and big banks is reprehensible. 

Get this... JP Morgan is the largest processor of food stamp benefits in the United States.  JP Morgan has contracted to provide food stamp debit cards in 26 U.S. states and the District of Columbia.  JP Morgan is paid for each case that it handles, so that means that the more Americans that go on food stamps, the more profits JP Morgan makes.  Yes, you read that correctly.  When the number of Americans on food stamps goes up, JP Morgan makes more money.

Don't believe me?  Watch this video straight from the horses mouth



And on that note, I am going to call it a day.  More to come on this pathetic politcal behavior in the next week.

OMG Blogging is hard

So I made this stupid blog just for the fun of it and if there's one thing I have learned is that blogging is practically a full time job!

What I mean by that is, I have a full time job, so when I get home I'm already pretty exhausted just from waking up 10 hours ago, and I really don't want to write about my day like how the 23 year old compliance Nazis are snooping around our office or how they are fucking me over on my pay or how the printer cartridge needed to be changed or whatever other inane bullshit happens during the day in your typical office space.

And plus, who likes to be "that guy" that only has work to talk about?  I fucking hate those people!

So I have a lot of respect for those bloggers out there that can balance a full time job or school, or momming or shopping or whatever the hell it people do all day, and blog.  I especially have a lot of respect for those bloggers out there that put new shit out at least twice a day.  God damn that must take a lot of fucking work because even this piece of shit rant is taking a lot of creative energy and I can't imagine putting out quality content twice a day.

So before I start to sound like some loser ass sports journalist that has to fabricate his own news because the real news is "too boring" I'm just going to stop before I really lose it.

Besides, Isn't blogging just speaking your mind anyway?  I mean its not like I really plan on showing this to my mother in law, or grandchildren or whatever.