Seriously be Careful This 4th of July!

Seriously people...  If all else fails, just drop the fucking firework!

And try to avoid rednecks, they seem to have issues...







You thought your local Park District's fireworks are safe?  THINK AGAIN FOOLS!

And don't drink and drive!

God Bless America

Beer Review (I might have a problem)

Samuel Smith's India Ale

Just when I thought beer couldn't get any better, I go out and randomly pick up something like this to try.



Holy shit fuck!  While most things from England suck and lack taste, this beer is not like any India Ale I have ever had before.  I'm not quite sure what the difference is between an India Ale and an India Pale ale, but there is "India Ale" on the bottle as well as  a huge yellow IPA on the label...  So I am quite confused but that is typical of most british cultural things.  Make shit as fucking retarded and confusing as possible and say you're better and more cultured than the person that doesn't "get it".

My guess was going to be that India Ales aren't as hoppy because this ale is one friggin crazy smooth beer with not a lot of hoppy taste to it at all.  It actually smells really good and not hoppy at all.  So a little history about the beer...

Supposedly this beer is made at the oldest beer brewery in Yorkshire England, which is sorta cool I guess.  Here's a map for you ignorant Americans...  Hint (its the big yellow blob)



 Here's what Wikipedia has to say about this brewery (yeah piss off i'm lazy today!)...

The smallest of the three modern-day Tadcaster breweries, Sam Smith's is one of the few remaining British breweries to employ the traditional Yorkshire Square system in the production of its beers.

Brewing water for ales and stouts is still drawn from the original 85 foot well, sunk when the site was established in 1758, and the yeast used in the fermentation process is of a strain that has been used continuously since approximately 1900 - one of the oldest unchanged strains in the country.

In keeping with this rich sense of history and tradition, the brewery keeps a small team of dapple-grey Shire Horses. Far from being simply show horses, these gentle giants are among the last active dray horses in the world. They deliver beer around the town of Tadcaster five days a week. 

Also of note, Shire Horses is one of the largest breeds of horse in the world...  Look at this shit!  This is one of the smaller ones, the guy in the video said he has one that is 19 hands (or 6'4" at the shoulder) tall!



Anyway enough about how this shit is made... the beer itself is a beautiful coppery reddish brown color as you can see...



The smell is something heavenly.  Its fruity and crisp but smells exactly like how a damn good ale should.

The flavor is also pretty amazing.  Like I said before, most IPA's are hoppy as hell but this is more of a smooth tasting beer.  My wife liked it and she usually hates IPA's.

So to end today's lesson on beer and history and England and all sorts of other important piss, I'm going to say that this beer is deserving of a 9/10 thumbs up!

Happy Monday!

MMMmmmm... Hot and Juicy

I was in Vegas over the Weekend and happened to come across something so amazing, so delicious I had to share it with you.  Hot and Juicy, at first thought it might sound like a titty bar, or perhaps a fruit soup place, but its just a peel and eat seafood place.

Here's how it works.

You have a menu with a few different choices of seafood which you order by the POUND.  Snow Crab, Blue Crab, Dungeness Crab, King Crab, Shrimp, and Craw-fish (and maybe some other shit but I forget what).  Then you have a choice of 3 sauces.  Juicy Cajun, garlic butter, lemon pepper or the Hot n Juicy Special, which is a combo of all three, and all at varying levels of spicyness (mild to extra-spicy).

I chose 1lb of Shrimp with the Hot & Juicy special sauce, spicy and 1lb of Snow crab with the same sauce.

Before I go any further, let me add that they give you a plastic bib which I must say is a necessity unless you enjoy hotsauce colored splashes all over your clothes.  Also there is no silverware, just a plastic disposable tablecloth and a roll of paper towels.

So now here comes my food.  Much to my surprise its served in a plastic bag...




So I ask my friends, well how in the hell do I eat this?  They say dump it on the table and start eating!  So ok...



About 45 minutes later with my hands completely wreaking of hotsauce and garlic and and my belly full as hell... here's the aftermath...



Well the flavor was fantastic, food was cooked to perfection, the theme terrific, the waitresses pretty attractive, and the price?  About $35 with tax & tip for 2lbs of seafood and 2 beers.   That's fantastic!

Honestly I'm thinking about opening one up here in Chicago that's how much I loved this place!

This food is not gourmet by any stretch of the imagination, but what you get which is a fun dining experience that doesn't kill your wallet... it gets my highest rating ever of 10/10 thumbs up!  *gets an extra point for having the 'happy ending' Asian massage parlor right next door.

Beer Review Time!

When Isn't it time for a beer review?

Man this is great, I am so pumped for my upcoming weekend vacation that I just have to pre-party a bit this week to make the week go by faster!

So uh yeah, had a few beers, some good, some great.

First one I had was called Allagash Dubel



So Allagash Beers are made in Portland Maine, USA.  I actually know someone who moved to Maine and I was like, dude I'm never going to visit your ass in fucking Maine, what the hell is there to do when its not snowing or Noreastering there?

Well I know that if I ever go back to the most Northern state in the US, I'm going to visit this brewery! 

I have had their Trippel Ale (what the fuck is up with the spelling!) and it was a godly awesome belgian blonde beer.  Fucking loved it and I have a 4 pack chillin in my fridge right now that I will verbally jizz on the internets about it probably next week.  I have also had their White Ale which is pretty good as well (not jizzworthy, to note).

So anyway on to the Dubbel.  My wife summed it up in one word.  "Smooth".  I have to agree, this beer is not like a Belgian blonde at all.  No fruity overtones here.  Mostly just a smooth malty carmely beer that is awesome as hell.  Would HIGHLY reccomend this beer, especially since its a fantastically powerful 7% ABV.  I really can't describe how good this beer is, as it is sort of a unique taste, but I can assure you there is almost no hint of hops and it is a very smooth ale that will get you fuuuuucked up!

If you see it, you must try it!

It deserves a very robust rating of 9/10 thumbs up and at 8.99 a 4 pack isn't a ridiculous ripoff.


The other beer I am going to wax poetic about, I am actually currently drinking (which might explain my poor grammar and spelling ability at the moment). 

It is called Stone IPA and this microbrew is made in "North County" San Diego, CA, USA!

So these Cali hippie fuckers can really brew some hoppy shit.

There is an obvious gargoyle theme going on on the bottle here and actually a short tale on the back of the painted bottle (love them),  It explains that their Stone Gargoyle "wards off modern day evil spirits such as chemical preservatives, additives, and adjuncts."  They go on to talk about how their stuff is all natural and organic and all sorts of hippie bullshit... well here's the verdict...



I LIKE!

This beer is a lot like the super hoppy Hop Wollop from Victory.  You pop the top off one of these and it smells like a fucking garden of hops explodes in your face.  It smells so fresh, so hoppy, its a smell to behold if you like hops.  The taste is clean but mega hoppy bitter, this is a VERY hoppy beer which I like on occasion, but it makes it tough to drink more than 2 or 3 of these...  Which is a good thing since this beer clocks in at 6.9% ABV and I would be shitfaced if I had 3 of these anyway.

A score for this beer is hard to determine, as I can guarantee this beer isn't for everyone... but I guess I'm probably one of the few who actually reads this blog so I'm going to go out there and give this beer a 8.5/10 thumbs up.  Yeah seriously, its pretty rad for an IPA.

Hilarious Picture #1

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.  Here is one of them.



Mark Cuban, Maverick's owner in case you were wondering...

Back, Catching Up and Better Than Ever

So OK I was totally devastated that the Bulls lost that series vs. the Heat, but hey they totally overachieved this year and I am very happy about that.  If you would have told me at the beginning of the season that they would win 62 games and make it to the conference finals I would have said, pass me that bong!  So now that I really have nothing to watch on TV and my social schedule has slowed down a bit I plan on blogging more again. 

I guess I could start it off with one of my favorite topics.  Beer!  Now I have some beers currently cooling in the fridge so I can't talk about them yet but don't worry I'll get to that soon enough!  I just want to talk about a few different beers I have had over the last few weeks.  Ones that I can remember anyways.


Lagunitas IPA - fuckin nice beer, so smooth for an IPA, its really great that they are distributing this pretty much everywhere in Chicago now.  This beer and Victoria are going to be my go to beers at cheezy Naperville chain restaurants for hopefully the next decade or so. 8.5/10

Lagunitas Lil' Sumpin' Sumpin' Ale - God dammit such a good beer, so fresh and flavorful (in a good way) for an ale.  Its not that shitty bitter english ale, its more of a slightly hoppy, fresh medium dark ale like Michael Sheas but way better, hard to explain... you just have to try it!  You can mostly find it in hipster bars in Bucktown.  9/10.  Only because it loses a half point for having to go to hipsterville to find it!

Victory Hop Devil - Pretty good IPA but nothing special.  7.5/10  At least its more affordable than most craft beers, and chilled at the local Binnys

Victory Hop Wallop - Found this one in a Scottish bar in West town, now I really like hoppy beer and this really is a punch your tongue with sour and bitter and hoppy amazingness type beer.  I mean this shit if you smell it before you drink it, and you like hops it will make your fuckin mouth water like crazy.  9/10 but I can guarantee that this beer is not for everyone.



Now while we're on the topic of Victory beers, I have one that I really don't like.  I don't know if it was a bad batch or what but Victory Prima Pilsner Sucked!  Hard!  It looked like piss, tasted really bland and at the same time sour and it gave me a really stuffy nose and bad allergies after I drank it!  This happened on two different occasions of drinking so I know this was the cause!  I was blowing my nose like crazy and well it pretty much killed my buzz so basically, fuck this beer!  4/10!  Definitely not a victory for my taste or my septum! 



Yeah that beer sucked ass, but thankfully I had one of these in my fridge to wash the ass taste out of my mouth with.  Delirium Tremens (Latin for "the shakes")!  Yes the worlds best beer of 1997 (aka the best year ever!) I happened to have a bottle in my fridge.  Only thing thats annoying about the beer is that the foil is really sticky so that's a half a point off an otherwise very good score.  9/10 due to its amazing belgian blonde taste.  And yes those are my salt and pepper shakers next to the bottle.  Fucking hilarious right?




Speaking of Belgian blondes, I also had an Affligem Dubel the other day.  Fuckin GREAT SHIT and I actually prefer this to Delirium Tremens!  Fantastic sweet and malty beer taste, but not overpowering.  Basically this beer is pure amazing.  I had it at the Emerald Loop and at $8.50 a beer was well worth it!  I would actually go out on a limb and say that this is the first beer I would give a perfect 10/10 to, but that's kind of anticlimatic considering I am always in search of a perfect beer and don't really want to stop writing about it so, just to be a dick, I give this a 9.75/10.



And last but not least I had some Half Acre Daisy Cutter - pretty damn good pale ale.  Now I'm not the worlds hugest pale ale fan but this one had an extremely fresh and grassy or fruity/orange taste to it which made me really like it.  You know how much I love to smell my beer and this is one of the best smelling beers ever! And it might be one of the best pale ales I've ever had!  I will have to have some more of it this summer as with its flavor it is a perfect summer drink on the outdoor space of your choice. 9.25/10 



I would imagine that my beer is about the proper drinking temperature now, so I am going to stop now.  Check back in later for more content, I swear I will try to update this blog at least 3-4 times a week with random shit!