So yeah I live in Chicago as you may have guessed (or not, because I don't think anyone reads this blog) and I walk my dogs every day. Its a battle to take them across a 4 lane road to piss because shithead motherfuckers like to attempt a left turn right when they get the green light before traffic approaches them. Guess what fucknuts, there are people in this city that don't drive and like to cross the street without having to jump out of the way. IT IS OUR RIGHT OF WAY you stupid fucks!
And what's the big fucking hurry? Maybe if you didn't live in a shitty suburb where it takes you an hour and a half to get home you wouldn't be such a bitch! And the most infuriating part of it all is that there is always a red light immediately after you turn, so what you really want to get to that red light 10 seconds faster while risking the life of every pedestrian that attempts to cross the fucking street to get home where they live? Eat a bag of shit and die you fucking selfish pricks.
So some asshole tried to pull this shit today and I let him have it. The best part was that his window was cracked open so I know he heard me nice and clear. I knew it was gonna happen too because this dumb sorry fuck looked to be in an extra hurry. He glances over at me waiting to cross the street, he makes sure that nobody is running a red light from his right, and guns it. I jump in front of his stupid red Nissan Altima and ream his Anderson Cooper looking ass and scream to him,
"QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE AND WAIT!"
His look of utter shock was nice when I stopped in front of him so he couldn't pass, and made the oncoming traffic stop so that they could watch me really have at it...
"WHATS THE BIG HURRY HUH?"
"YOU GOT A REALLY IMPORTANT RED LIGHT TO CATCH?"
"STOP BEING A DICKHEAD AND WAIT YOU ASSHOLE!"
wave middle finger, say "FUCK YOU" and exit stage left...