Holy fick puss Flyig dog

DOUBLE ALE FORF AEWEOSME OH MY GOD  shit i had the capt lock on

So I went to see my friend of a friend DOMINATE THE CHICAGO COMEDY SCENE2 Tonight and gt a litle wasted. Drank some of my favorite 5/10 thumbs up Budweiser beeero tonight and then came home and had some Double down flying double dog double pale double alcohol doulble fuck me up SHIT."

i better reflect on this  oozyness tmorrw.  Awesome bber tough me and my wiife wer blaswted after about one sip of this 11.5% APB shit.

Its Friday, Beer Review

Another long god damn week is finally over.  Fucking shit I hate work sometimes.  I'm telling you nothing pleases me more than a nice cold beer (on sale even!) after a long week.  Except, ah nevermind... TMI

Tonight I am sampling a beer from the New Holland Brewery from... you guessed it, Holland Michigan!  Like a Dutchman could make a beer that doesn't suck.  Yeah, right!  Amstel sucks, Grolsch sucks, and Heineken makes me fart like a clydesdale!  Damn TMI again!  Not to ruin the flow I have going on here, but you have to watch this video...



So back to the topic at hand.  I am trying the New Holland Mad Hatter India Pale Ale.  Who knows why its called that, but there's a super creepy picture of a mad hatter on the label, and another label on the back that doesn't say why it is called Mad Hatter IPA. It does however say that its 5.25% ABV which is fairly average in terms of potency.



Glass is courtesy of you guessed it, Murphy's Pub in Champaign and the beer is your typical brownish reddish color and it is pretty clear beer.

It smells like hops and a faint amount of citrus or malt or some shit like that but to make a long snobby story short, it smells like pretty much any IPA I have had in the past.

The taste however, is smooth going down, not too carbonated, good amount of hops... its weird though its like it tastes great initially, then for just a split second it tastes foul or something, and then it leaves a nice IPA style aftertaste of hoppy goodness. 

I could really drink a lot of this shit if it was on sale all the time.  Definitely a quality brew.  I picked up a 6 pack for 8 bucks, and I think its a pretty good price point there.  I believe normally its like 11.49 for a 6 pack. 

So the final verdict is 8.5/10 thumbs up which means, if you see it, Try it!



Have any beer recommendations for this weekend?

DO WANT!

In case you don't know this by now (actually I'm not sure why more than one of you reading this would)  I kind of like certain electronic gadgets.  I usually don't get much into the latest phone tech however, as I usually buy a phone maybe once every 4 years which in phone years is like what, a century?

So I heard about this interesting new phone coming out, I think yesterday (which I did not know before starting to write this little blog).  The Sony Ericsson Xperia Play.  Its basically a blackberry/iphone for useful, productive stuff (like facebooking and fantasy football updates!) aaaaand it has a game pad that will allow you to also play Playstation games on it.  I think it might even be able to make a phone call!  NEAT-O!

Well here is an amusing commercial for it.  Kristen Schaal is pretty hilarious.  If you haven't seen her before on the Daily Show, she plays a Christian right winger and is really funny at it.  And a certain scene in this commercial had me rolling with laughter...

So without further ado, as Stacey King would say... "ROLL IT!"

AAAAAAH! DO WANT!  Brilliant Marketing!  Although just one problem.  The Xperia Play has been reported to only be available on Verizon.  Nooooo! Fuck that shit!  Not being allowed to have such an amazing device makes me want it more!  Well hopefully Sprint gets a Korean knockoff version eventually, like they always do with their shitty phones.

Have a happy Thursday!
Sincerely,
Your everlasting consumerist chum

3 Awesome things from the 90's

Part 1 in a million part series just because there is so much awesomeness to cover.  RAD!

Yes, The 90's were the best time in modern history, and before you old bastards say well no way, the 50's were the best!  Um, no.  The 50's were only "cool" if you are a bible thumping alcoholic smoker douche bag or chauvinistic prick-wad.  Certainly not "cool" if you were a minority, or a woman, or gay, or poor, or well, you get the point.

 Damn, in the 50's did people really wear suits everywhere?  I can't imagine what a pain in the ass that would be, and the poor women had to wear dresses and makeup while working in the kitchen... are you  kidding me?  Sometimes I don't even believe this shit ever happened because it seems so ridiculously impossible to find a woman working the kitchen like a pro these days.  Most women are working a full time job so they can help their hubby pay a mortgage on their overpriced and likely underwater McMansion. It also seems ridiculous that men would wear suits everywhere they went, even casually!  When was the last time you wore a suit to McDonalds?  Thats pretty much how I picture the 1950's were.



Oh shit, before I get too carried away about why the 1950's must have totally sucked, back to the three awesome things about the 90's!  Please note that these are not the absolute top three and they aren't in any particular order of awesomeness.

1)  Grunge Culture

Speaking of why the 50's attire sucked so hard reminded me of why the 90's were so awesome.  Not only did you have neon Umbros and Z. Cavaricci pants, but it was actually fashionable to let yourself go and wear flannel, your worst pair of jeans, not do your hair or shave.  I mean have we ever had another time in our history where you could wear what you went to sleep in after a long night of drinking Natty Light around a campfire, and be ok in school the next day?  

2)  Hammer Pants

Speaking of Z. Cavaricci pants... how in the heck could I forget the opposite of grunge, yet still comfortable as all hell?  Parachute pants!  So amazingly comfortable and fashionable as well!


  Lets just say they are a lot better than the "ex-girlfriend" jeans that losers wear today.  GROSS! 



3)  Music Videos

While I'm on the subject of music and fashion, lets hit one last awesome thing about the 90's.  MTV or alternatively known as "Music Television" to us geezers. It was an ancient cable channel that played MUSIC VIDEOS!  Now i'm sure some of you are asking what the fuck a music video is, so here is an example of one of the greatest music videos of all time.   What makes this video so great is that its from one of the worst movies of all time, while simultaneously being one of the greatest tupac (RIP) songs, and last but not least its totally off the wall and makes absolutely no sense.  Just like any good music video should!




Happy Hump day, stay RADICAL DUDES!

Bruce Pearl You Suck!

Ohhhh man, let me tell you how sad I was to hear the news that Tennessee Vol's Men's Basketball head coach Bruce Pearl (aka human waste pile) got the axe yesterday for fucking CHEATING and LYING (like, a million fucking times) to the NCAA. 


I'm sure he will be crying his big fat head on a big fat pillow stuffed with lots of money that he made scumming his way to the top.

Dear Bruce, I think I speak for everyone you have ever wronged when I say you are a miserable sack of shit, I hate you, you are lower than ambergris, and I hope to never see your ugly face on TV again.  If I see you in person, I will be sure to passive-aggressively run into you as I pass you by.  I sincerely hope your ex wife takes all your money and that you may never coach again!



I'm sure his ex-wife is pretty sad too, then again, maybe not as she is probably busy with her booming nail salon business, aptly named "Alimony's"

Why the hate for this guy?  Well, as a long time Illini fan, there is a reason.  You see Bruce used to be an assistant for Dr. Tom Davis at IOWA (Idiots Out Wandering Around) and wasn't happy with getting their asses kicked by the Illini so much, so assclown here used some out of context quotes from Deon Thomas (the #1 recruit in the country at the time) and made up a story and lied to the NCAA, yes it is a good story and might sound somewhat believable but....

The NCAA didn't find Illinois to be guilty, but since it "sounded good enough to be true" they slapped the Illini with a "lack of institutional control" penalty anyway (because they are assholes HQ'd in Indiana) which set the program back for at least a decade.  You can read the whole made up fiasco by Pearl here.

So to hear about this asshole adulterer getting shit-canned by a SEC school of all places (voted by coaches as "the most cheaty conference" which you can read about here)  for CHEATING then getting busted for LYING to the NCAA is absolutely hilarious and made my day.   Deadspin also has a great take on what a piece of human waste this guy is.

One last thing...

I REALLY don't want to see this asshole get hired on ESPN as a college hoops analyst with that other douchebag Digger Phelps.  Who, coincidentally made up a bunch of shit about Illinois offering LaPhonzo Ellis money too, that was never proven (and that Ellis admitted on a TV broadcast recently!).  Jay Bilas and Duke Vitale are already whining about what a raw deal Bruce Pearl got and what a standup guy he is.  Well, whats that saying, misery loves company?  Nah I think its


Yeah thats the ticket!